Classy Tales

As you would be aware in a prevvoius life The Bride was an outstanding educator.

Part of her duties was to be master of ceremonies at school functions and assemblies.

It was on of these days when the music specialist the extremely talented Susan Pinakis had done a marvellous job with a particular music item featuring a very large student choir accompanied by Sue on piano

It was great the students were pumped parents and staff were applauding madly.

As the applause quitened The Bride leapt onto the stage and grabbed the microphone to acknowledge Sue on her excellent work with the choir.

On this rare occasion the mike worked and sound was good[generally the stage manager was not at all that reliable with the sound system to be kind I will not name him at this point. PS I may do later.

Anyway The Bride launched in with her booming Scottish Accent congratulating Sue spontaneously the crowd roared with laughter especially the upper school boys!

Now you’re thinking why?

Now our pianist Sue Pinakis may not even bring a hint of a smile to your face , however with a Scottish Accent maybe those assembled heard

PLEASE THANK

OUR PENIS SUPER KNACKERS

After the assembly The Bride moved to her other duties as Deputy Principal (Her tasks were many and broard ,pretty much every thing that needed to be done that no other bugger wanted to do.)

Shortly after she was in medical room where serial malingerer Emily had appeared clutching her wrist.

What happened

I hurt it when I did a cartwheel after assembly

Must not have been a very good one then Emily .

Emily now red faced and sobbing

No Mrs Buswell

Show me you’re wrist Emily

Emily offers her wrist slightly bowed but no skin damage,redness or swelling

Can you move it

No it won’t move I think it’s broken

The Bride knowing Emilies history asked

Emily before the accident how much could you move your wrist

In the blink of an eye young Emily had that injured wrist back to full mobility and was briskly dispatched back to her classroom!

The Bride in her spare time was delivering the school curriculum in English (and doing a splendid job I might add)

Somewhere along the way the awkward subject of Sex Education had also been added to the English curriculum.( a task handballed from parents to schools an finally landing with The Bride)

The Sex Education Lesson was going well with the boys sniggering,the girls mostly all knowing and a few awkward moments.

The Bride continued

It is not possible to urinate if you’re penis is erect.

A short silence

George at the back of the class

Yair that’s right and that’s why I am always late for school

No sooner had the words left his lips George was wishing them back

The class erupted

Poor George reddened

The nickname Stiffy was born!

From that day on poor George whenever he would spot Mrs Buswell had that sheepish look (she knows)

Poor bugger !

MOT