MAX ON TOUR
Having completed internal inspection of Duomo.
We were about to get onto the next part of our tour which was by lift to top of Duomo to inspect rooftop and enjoy the site of modern Milan.(pictured above courtesy MOT Images)
Suddenly nature was urgently calling one of our party!
As luck would have it I had previously spotted the outside Ablution block on our way around to lift.
We quickly made our way back but the bloody things were not due to open for another twenty or so minutes.
As luck didn't have this one we decided to head to our nearby apartment with great haste.
Made it just in the nick of time.
Back we go and join the queue, finally make it to the front and show our passes.
Wronga queue you needa to go ovara there ar !
We make our way another couple of hundred metres around the building and join another queue.
Just in front of us an Asian man obviously having an urgent nature notification was enquiring about toilets inside the building.
Usher answers -
Noah toileta insida You needa to goa backa to other side ar .
Asian man now sweating up a little and not keen to lose his spot asked.
How long?
Now this is the part where lost in translation can really hurt you.
The usher thinks he is asking how long to get to front of queue.
Ten ar minutes who ar knows ar.(actually thirty three minutes)
Asian man now reassured decides to chance his luck not realizing the next Dunny is two hours away.
From personal experience in this situation I can assure you when nature is at your door ten minutes does seem like two hours!
Finally we got the lift to viewing level one.
No problem(there was one which I will get to later)
Ticket stated that we would get lift up and make exit via the stairs which I had clearly told all on the tour.
Unfortunately the lift only covered a small part of the assent then several more flights of stairs to the top and of course stairs all the way down.
The Bride complained that she had not been properly briefed on the strenuous ascent / decent
If she had been properly briefed
(picture courtesy MOT media)
would have undertaken a spartan training regime with Bella, the dog, before departure.
Honestly even I was even a little bit puffed as we completed our excursion!
Fortunately we quickly found a bar where 2 ice cold beers were ordered with haste.
The Bride was still a little flushed and as refreshments arrived I took a photo.
Hella As I focused for the photograph I suddenly realized I hadn't seen her glowing so much since our early courting days!
Coming back to the problem I alluded to earlier.
While we were queuing up waiting for the lift I spotted out of the corner of my eye an elderly man hobbling slowly along with a carer by his side.
As you would know I am no spring chicken but this bloke was seriously old and was quickly overtaken by a couple of snails out on a morning stroll.
Trying to lighten the mood whilst we queued I made a very humorous observation.
Hey have a look at those two I don't know where they are headed but it is going to take all day.
Its all a little hazy I guess I must have been distracted by Asian mans predicament .
Next thing I look to head of queue and bugger me dead there he is Walking Stick Man with carer about to enter lift.
Must have had the ultimate queue jumper pass!
Bride not impressed.
Eventually we pile in lift which is extremely clammy.
Exiting we see some fantastic sights ,we move further around the building and approach the next set of stairs.
(after 600 years nearly done){photo courtesy MOT media}
There he is Queue Jumping Man about to slowly mount the first tread.
The Bride is unhappy with this development.
Bloody ridiculous some people have no consideration for others!
After what seemed an eternity they had advanced enough for us to begin our climb. Someone was urging me to overtake however they were two abreast and the walking stick was sticking out to prevent any possibility of overtaking.
"Max come on get past this is going to take longer than a Sturmer toilet break".
Alas we get to a landing and quickly pass Queue jumping man.
Being a student of history I discovered Queue Jumping man was the brickie who laid the original foundation stone and was checking out how the job turned out!
Max On Tour
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